


Status Update

by Clocksmith



Series: Android!Max [1]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Android!Max, F/F, First Meetings, Online Dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 02:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6638047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clocksmith/pseuds/Clocksmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I had expected a woman today. Well, a girl. I had expected someone attending the same University System as me. Maybe even someone I pass by on a daily basis without giving them a second glance. I thought it would be girl called Max that I could maybe – and I assured Alyssa it was a <em>very</em> big maybe – get close with. But she isn’t…is she? Max is…she’s –</p><p>She's a Synthetic Human. Max is an android.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Status Update

“Are, uh…are you okay?” Max asks me. “Kate?”

Not really. I haven’t said anything since our drinks came. 

“You haven’t exactly said anything since your drinks got here.” 

Yes. Yes, _my_ drinks. Of course, she…

She doesn’t drink.

And hearing her point that out only makes me feel worse about this whole situation. I knew it would be strange meeting Max in person. I expected awkward first words and stunted questions shared between the two of us as we got to know each other. Maybe even a few sighs as we realised one – or even both of us lied just a little on our dating profiles.

But…this?

When Alyssa suggested I try and meet someone though the Dating Interface I was…hesitant. I’m not exactly the most outgoing person. I have close friends and a social life, sure, but I’ve never really went out of my way to try and meet new people.

I met Alyssa back in our first year of university, which was nice. I got close to Stella not long after she transferred through to Blackwell’s education system. I may not have a countless number of associates like Victoria does but I have more than enough people in my life that make me happy. I’ve never really considered trying to mine for more than what I already have.

The same goes for dating, I suppose. I just assumed it would happen the same way that you make friends: you’d meet someone nice and then after a while they’d become more than that. They’d mean something different to all the other people you know.

I’m almost twenty-three now and I’ve yet to meet anyone I can feel that way about. I trust in God to look after me and guide me through the ways of the world but I also want to reach out into the world for myself. I want to see who’s out there.

I wanted to see if there was anyone out there interested in being with me. I just thought that perhaps they couldn’t see me through all the noise. Maybe all I had to do was call out to them.

Max stares at me from across the table. She’s tapping a precise tune on the floor with her foot. I vaguely recognise the beat but it’s not my major concern right now.

“Have I done something weird?” she asks. Her brow is furrowed but I can’t tell if it’s through annoyance or confusion. I’m honestly not sure which I’d prefer. Her eyes search my milkshake. Both of them, actually. “Did I say ‘hello’ wrong?”

I should really reply but I’m not quite sure what to say. Max takes this as an affirmative, apparently.

“I-I mean, I thought I was doing okay. My friend said I sounded pretty good,” she stutters. It…almost seems natural. Maybe it is and I’m being the unnatural one here. “I’ve not had the Update for very long, you know? It’s still a little weird talking to anyone that I don’t know too well."

“You’re doing fine,” I eventually say. It feels a little dishonest. We haven’t exactly spoken much to each other since she arrived. She sat down, we said hello and I saw some things I wasn't prepared for Max to have. I did the first thing that came to mind and offered to get some drinks.

In that little rush I realised too late that I hadn't asked what she wanted. Synthetic Humans don't even eat, which only made my thought process all the more pointless. They don't need drinks either but I couldn't go back without anything after I offered to buy her something. 

Right?

"I’m just – I wasn’t expecting –”

I try grasping at the right words but they don’t really come to me. I don’t want to be mean to her. I don’t enjoy causing hurt to others, especially given how often I’ve been on the receiving end of that myself. If anyone asks me for my opinion on something, I always try to be understanding. I respect people and their decisions, their beliefs and their cultures. Their existence.

But I guess personal perception is different to an actual experience. You can say you’re on someone’s side but you never really know what will happen when you come face to face with their situation.

I had expected a woman today. Well, a girl. I had expected someone attending the same University System as me. Maybe even someone I pass by on a daily basis without giving them a second glance. I thought it would be girl called Max that I could maybe – and I assured Alyssa it was a _very_ big maybe – get close with. 

But she isn’t…is she? Max is…she’s –

I just decide to use the word. I think I need to.

“I w-wasn’t expecting a Synth.”

I think that’s the correct word to use. That’s the word on all the approved advertisements, at least. Either way, it seems to break Max out of her current emotional state. Her face changes into something that I can’t deny looks like rejection. Maybe failure?

Anger?

It’s a dysfunctional mix of all three struggling against each other. The tune tapping on the linoleum floor suddenly stops.

“What?” is all she says. Her voice comes ever so slightly out of sync with her lips. Surprise: she’s good at that one, apparently. “Wait. Wait, I...I-I don’t understand.”

I’m sorry. 

Please don’t be angry. 

I want to say both of those things but I can’t find the nerve.

“I _really_ don’t understand,” she states, firmer. The anger-that-might-not-be-anger settles and lets confusion take full control. Her face suddenly contorts into an ugly grin before she briefly shakes the ill-placed emotion away. "Did you even read my profile?”

I want to say yes but that would be a lie too. Not a complete one, but a lie nonetheless.

“I read bits of it,” I reply. Which is true. “I know you like vintage photography. And Doctor Who!” Her favourite Doctor is…was it Paul? Paul Something. Or was it the older one with the bushy eyebrows? There was a picture of Max posing with him at a convention too, I think. She was wearing big, black sunglasses. “I d-didn’t want to look too hard…”

But Max doesn’t move from her sitting position. All the normal responses you’d expect to appear alongside anger just don’t happen. Her shoulders don’t tense and there’s no physical movement to imply a temper or hostility. All that’s really changed is her facial expression.

That’s the part that breaks my heart.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better, Kate _Beverly_ Marsh?” She emphasises my middle name, especially. It hurts. “Because it really doesn’t. How’s Alice, by the way? You know, your little dwarf bunny with the black patch around her eyes. Is she still not eating her celery sticks or did you manage to find out what was wrong? Did you finish reading Life of Pi? Do you still recommend it? Has your birthday changed? It’s still September twelfth, right? What about-"

She keeps going and I find it hard to listen with the rising knot shifting in my stomach. Part of me wants to complain that she could have easily recorded all of my information to repeat it back to me whenever she wanted. It’s actually a little unnerving to hear her repeat all of this information – for what I assume is word for word. Like she’s practised this conversation several times before.

But deep down I know it isn’t a fair argument to contest her memory. It wouldn’t do anything to change the fact that I missed something so basic about her. She’s meant to remember things; Synths are even advertised as such. I shouldn’t complain.

I try to explain myself instead.

“I just wanted to meet someone new,” I say.

I kept declining to meet up with anyone who sent me a request. I just didn’t feel comfortable going out to meet someone that I never even knew existed just a few minutes prior. And there was no one on our Interface that I particularly wanted to send a request to. I wasn’t really sure where to start when all you have to work with are photos and snippets of practised text.

God knows that mine was read over by two people for almost an hour before we decided it was good enough. And even then they made a few ‘aesthetic’ changes to my profile to see if it widened the search.

But then Alyssa said to just go for it; to meet up with the next person who shows interest. After I rejected the first seven of those that came my way, I got a notification from Max’s account. My friends made sure that I didn’t worm my way out if it this time. They talked me into just going with the flow. 

And…as nervous as I was, I liked that feeling of impulsiveness. It was spontaneous and new. I didn’t know who Max was, beyond her place in my University System and a few sparse details I managed to catch on her profile. It could have gone as badly as any other first meeting but it could have led to something more and that actually got me excited.

I could go into the café and come out with a new friend. Maybe – again, quite a big maybe – even a girlfriend if everything went about as well as I inwardly hoped it would.

I tell Max as much. She sits there and listens to me. I half wonder if she’s going to remember this conversation word for word, too.

“So I just said yes,” I finish. “I joined the Interface to meet someone. It seemed silly to keep making up excuses when people actually offered to meet up with me.”

Max seems to think over my words. 

“So you…thought I was bio?”

“Yes,” I whisper. I never thought to ask. It didn’t really occur to me that a Synthesised Human would want to join the Dating Interface.

Maybe that makes me old fashioned. Or naïve. 

It became rather obvious once Max actually arrived. If I had somehow missed the distinctive drive port on the left side of her head then the unnatural, mechanised pattern behind her pupils left me little room to doubt.  
They’re apparently _really_ easy to hide if you have a pair of sunglasses and an actor from Doctor Who posing around your shoulders.

But…apart from that – I mean, there might be some more things. I don’t know what else I should be looking for – she looks real. She looks _human_ and real and I don’t know how to process any of this. I don’t know what to say or how I should be acting.

Should I be acting? 

Should I do anything?

"I was really excited about this,” she says, a loose smile on her manufactured lips.

Oh, _God_. Please don't do this.

“R-really?” I reply, as if it makes her previous statement any less true. If anything, I wonder if there was a more pointless reply I could have made. It filled up any silence thinking would have brought so I guess I’ll take it for now.

Now that I think about it, I never asked why she messaged me…

I wonder why she was excited.

“You were the first person to actually reply back to me. So…yeah. I was pretty excited.” Her smile shifts drastically into a distinctly neutral expression. “Not a lot of biological people are into people like me.”

I should say something to comfort her, but I’m not quite sure what I want to say. I came here with the intention of getting to know her. Maybe holding her hand or...maybe giving her a kiss before parting ways. But now I don’t know how to approach all that, or if it’s meant to be approached at all.

Would she even like being kissed? Would all those sensations I was maybe looking forward to even matter to her?

Did I still want all of that?

“Are you into people like me?”

I…I don’t know.

I’m not happy with the current line of questioning. This isn’t something I thought I would have to deal with today. I was prepared to meet a girl and…well, that hadn’t been so hard at all, really. It hadn’t felt like such a hard decision to make.  
I knew Max was a girl and I was okay with that. I was even looking forward to meeting her. And then going forward with holding her hand and maybe getting a kiss at the end of the night. I had planned for that and Alyssa had stopped me from getting worked up about anything silly. Kissing and hands. Hands. Then some kissing. In either order.

She had made me excited about meeting Max. 

“I…”

But she’s still a person. Right? She’s just filled with wires and metal and plastic prosthetics. It shouldn’t matter to me than that she wasn’t born-

How old is she? Was she made a few years ago with presets that made her the age she is? Did she have to learn anything? Was she born an adult? Is she really twenty-something years old?

...

It shouldn't matter that she hasn’t got any real parents and that she hasn’t got any blood running through her veins.

She’s still a real person. She’s alive and she’s here. She’s interested in me.

She’s waiting for me to say something.

“I d-don’t know?” I really don’t. I didn’t expect this, but even so, my answer feels especially empty. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

That gets a little ‘oh’ from her. Her lips form a perfect circle, her pupils shifting like clockwork behind her eyes. They seem unsure: searching and scrutinising the current situation for the emotion they are meant to portray.

I should say something else. I'm not...I don't think I'm averse to her. That's a start, right? Not a healthy start by any means, but it can be worked on. The initial surprise has worn off and everything is slowly falling into something I can comprehend.

I should...I should ask something-

Oh!

"What model are you?" I blurt out.

I catch her attention. I know nothing about robotics. I don't really follow their trends, but even I understand the basics. It’s hard not to, really.

"Live Interface Service and Personal Care Droid. Version eighteen point six." She pauses. "Beta. Got my chip two months ago." She taps the left side if her head for emphasis, proudly. Then her face suddenly looks ready to gloat the fact before she seems to catch herself and shift back.

Okay, that’s something I can work with! She’s a personal service droid, newly updated. That implies she helps look after something or someone on a regular basis. Or used to, at least; she does attend my University System. 

I’m not sure how much she varies from other versions of service droid, but that’s not really my concern right now.

I can fix this. I can make it up to her.

“So why did you choose to attend Blackwell?”

This is the best question. If she still cares for someone, she’ll probably mention it in her answer. I can find out what classes she takes and what subjects she studies. This might even make up for skipping out on her dating profile.

Maybe. By a little bit.

“I wanted to study photography,” she replies, a smile appearing on her lips. I’m sure this one is genuine. Her foot is back to tapping on the floor. “There’s a lot of _feeling_ behind photographs. You can’t just programme that sort of thing into someone; it needs to be experienced, you know?”

I nod. I tentatively reach over and take a sip from one of my milkshakes.

“But it can be _learned_. It’s just not something you can write out in ones and zeroes. And I loved taking photographs before I even had the ability to understand what ‘love’ felt like.” She watches me swallow my drink, then looks to the other glass before promptly ignoring it. “So I signed up to the course. Blackwell seemed to like the idea of having a Synth taking one of their artistic courses. They even gave me a sort-of scholarship for my first year. And I already have somewhere to live…”

She pauses for a few choice seconds, looking to me. I briefly wonder if I’m meant to say something before she continues.

“In the Northern District,” she bites. “Like it says on my profile.”

Despite my best efforts to let the snide comment slide, my face wilts once more and I half-wonder why I’m even still here. It begins to settle in my brain and pool, fed by the fact that I really hurt someone’s feelings. But to my surprise, Max’s is in much the same state. The aggression her features showed before aren’t present at all, replaced by something much more fragile.

The tapping stops again and her hands begin to fidget. Mechanically so, almost like she’s playing a tune on a piano only she can see. But she looks distinctly uncomfortable doing so.

She looks at me.

“I’m sorry,” we both say at the same time.

Much like anyone would do in a similar situation, I can’t help but meekly laugh. It comes out as a half-sigh. Max looks like she’s trying to mimic my action, but only drives her lips into a frown instead. 

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Max eventually adds. She’s still playing that unseen piano. “I want to take it back, if that’s okay? The other things I said earlier too.”

“You don’t need to do that.” 

I would love her to, but even I can admit that I didn’t handle this first meeting all that well. There are a lot of things I would do differently if I was offered a chance to turn back the clock.

“But I want to. You said you were sorry and that should be it. The issue should be over and I should be okay with that.”

I really don’t want to keep digging my own grave, but “That’s not how it works. You’re allowed to be frustrated with me.” She allowed to hate me, if it comes to it. 

“Frustration is new to me,” she replies, nonchalantly waving her hand. A strange disconnect. “I just don’t want to give it too much sway in my head. Chloe gets frustrated a lot and she keeps telling me to try and not be like her.”

I don’t remember her mentioning Chloe by name before, but maybe I can prove to her that I’ve been listening to what she’s told me. Even if I did miss out on what she had written down. “Is Chloe the friend you mentioned?”

She perks up at this. Really perks up, as if this friend is the one thing that gives her the unconscious, automatic surge of emotions that I've taken for granted all my life.

"Yeah! Yeah, Chloe's great. She acts all high and mighty a lot of the time but she's been showing me the ropes since day one.” Her piano is gone now, which makes me smile. It really is no different than seeing someone like me calm down and growing comfortable in their own skin. “I’ve been living with her for nearly six years and three months so it was nice having her there to help me. I’m not sure how it is for babies but it’s really fucking weird having all these new feelings just appearing inside your head.”

“Was it that bad?”

"No!” she yells, catching the attention of a woman several seats away. “No, it's great, really. I have literally never been happier in my entire life. Or angrier. Or sadder or as curious or as sympathetic or–" She _very_ suddenly gasps for a synthetic breath and stares right at me. "I had a blackout on my first day!"

Oh…that doesn’t sound good. It sounds like the opposite of good.

"Isn’t _that_ bad?"

"I thought it was great," she replies, her excitement steadily growing. She’s like a little firework that’s just learned that she likes to explode. "I took a photo of this Blue Jay in a puddle and it was my first ever photo with _feelings_ behind it and I was so _proud_ that I was the one who took it that I couldn't stop _smiling_ and then I couldn't stop _laughing_ because I found smiling hilarious and then I woke up forty minutes later in Chloe's truck."

That still doesn’t sound like my idea of fun. Even as an outsider to that situation, I would be terrified. Then again, I’ve had my fair share of giggle-fits over the years. I can sort of imagine how strange they must be if you’ve never experienced one before.

“You woke up in her truck?”

“My head crashed,” she replied, completely naturally. “You’re not really meant to do anything too taxing on the first day but my head went into a laughing-fit anyway. But do you get how good that feels?”

I think I do. 

I’ve had emotions all of my life so I suppose I could never compare. But I can imagine it. I can imagine having none of that and suddenly being told that I can. I can imagine how intense that would be, like seeing your first snowfall and eating your first ice-cream and hugging your best friend all at once in a big mixing bowl of every other brilliant moment of your life.

It would be everything good about life condensed into your head for the first time in forever. Every joke would be the best joke you’ve ever heard and every emotion would be at its most powerful. The gap in scale between no smiles and your first smile is huge. That first scare whilst watching an adult movie and those first tears.

That would be so much to take in. It would be wonderful in so many more ways than I can imagine. Maybe it’s like being a kid, except you have all the experience and the capacity to actually remember all these little firsts.

“It was literally the funniest thing to happen in your entire life?” I ask in reply.

“Yes! Literally the funniest thing!

She starts laughing, getting louder until she makes a conscious decision to stop. Her face suddenly goes stiff. Then a new second passes and there’s a natural smile on her lips. The remnants of her laugh briefly break passed her safeguard but she swallows them before long. 

“I’m still not used to letting things flow. I need to stop and start sometimes,” she adds, her tone comically serious. I can’t decide if she meant to sound like that or not. “But then I don’t think about it and sometimes things come and go and it’s…great. Hella great.”

And then we talk.

The awkwardness thins out as we speak about absolutely everything that isn’t important. We talk about our courses, our lecturers. We get onto the topic of the grounds and where we walk and realise we must have passed each other at least once or twice.  
It turns out she lives with Chloe and her parents. Her favourite animal is a doe and she wants to get a stomach implant within the next five years. She likes the rain despite it not being all that good for her body. She thinks pizza looks cool but wants to try waffles first.

She once stared at the sun for eighteen hours to win a bet with her best friend. She has the complete code for the first Mario game stored in her memory and can play it inside her head if she turns off her right eye.

And it’s…fun. It’s fun and if Max feels anything close to hatred towards me then she doesn’t show it. I still worry she does, though. I don’t like how I treated her and I’m not sure I can forgive myself, even if she already has.

I’m not perfect, which is something I can accept. It was also chance that the one person whose profile I glossed over happened to be a Synth. It’s unfortunate that both occurred at the same time but I still feel guilty.

I’m halfway through my second milkshake and very much wishing I didn’t start it. My tummy isn’t made for two milkshakes. But our conversation has reached a comfortable end and I know what I want to say.

“I’m still sorry for not reading your profile,” I begin. Max starts to say something but I cut her off. “And I’m sorry if I upset you. With that or with other things; I really didn’t mean to.” That sounded terrible, really. I could have done better than that.

“You already explained all of that.” But Max seems to take it, regardless. She smiles at me. “It’s cool, Kate. Really.”

It’s bizarre how often a simple confirmation can make you feel more secure in your own thoughts. Even a prayer before bed can be enough to placate me when times are especially bad. But I truly believe that having a friend at my side can be just as powerful, maybe even more so. 

The moment Max quells my fears I feel them leave me. I trust her, I think. I haven’t known her long but I think I trust her.

Life is strange like that, I guess. I just hope I left the same impression on her.

“But…you could-” she begins before cutting herself off. For a moment I swear I see dread scrawled into her face but she visibly shakes it away. She taps the table. Her face becomes uneasy with my presence and I think I understand how she feels. “I was thinking that, if you wanted to give things another shot…we could _maybe_ go out somewhere else. Again?”

My hands…are sweaty.

My hands are _really_ sweaty.

“On another date?” she unsteadily finishes. “Where you don’t have to drink two milkshakes. If you wanted to.”

My feet are suddenly tapping something alongside Max before I catch myself. A nervous habit of mine, unlike Max and her tune. 

Things didn’t start out very well between us, I know. And I’m not sure I made the best first impression. Or said any of the right things. And I don’t know how I feel about Max yet. 

But I know she’s already my friend. And I hope I’m her friend, too.

“Yes,” I reply. 

And maybe one day she’ll become something…more. Someone more. If we go with the flow and take each day as it comes. I can learn from my mistakes. I can learn new things about her. She could maybe learn new things about me.

She could tell me more about Chloe and I could introduce her to my friends. I could learn how she works, how she thinks and _feels_. We could maybe even hold hands and do the kisses one day. Maybe even one day soon.

I’ll have to work out if she likes kisses, won’t I? Or if she minds holding my sweaty hands.

…

There’s no point worrying about things like that, yet. I don’t know how she’ll respond. We’ll just have to wait and see and find out together.

“Yes,” I say again. My tapping stops completely as Max starts up again. “I’d like that.”

I’d really like that. And judging by Max’s smile, I think she does too.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this for an absolute age and I really wanted to get something else with Max and Kate out there. There was a show called 'Humans' airing when I first thought of this (which was apparently July last year...wow) and even though I never really got into it, some terms I caught from the show and its ads were implemented here and there. I really liked the idea of androids truly being alive, mixing in and co-existing with humanity. The whole 'What Measure Is a Non-Human?' really peaked my interest too. And I recently played Kate's route in 'Love is Strange' which really convinced me to get this finished. Look the game up; from what little I've played I highly recommend it for any Life is Strange fan!
> 
> Also, despite Android!Max being, well, an _android_ , it dawned on me quite late in that there are a few parallels to situations the trans community could encounter here. While that wasn't the initial intention, I hope nothing here comes off as offensive.


End file.
